When I bow my head tonight
There will be no me, myself and I
Just watch my wife and kids, please Lord
That's all I ask for anymore
Let them outlive me by 100 years
Let their laughter dry up all their tears
Let them love and be loved back
..... LIKE I HAVE BEEN
-- Trace Adkins
At age 41, I became a stepfather.
Later this year -- in November to be exact -- I will become a father at 43.
God continues to bless me beyond my wildest imagination.
When Michelle and I got married, I didn't know anything about how to be a stepdad to Robbie and Alyssa. What did it mean? What would my role be in their lives?
I really had not even been around kids that much for most of my adult life.
I spent a lot of time working, a lot of time alone, a lot of time with my dogs -- first Chipper and now Pacey.
This would be a new challenge. And it was.
I know November will present even more challenges.
Many of our friends joke good-naturedly about how I will handle it. Will I change diapers (I'm not big on messy things)? Will I be able to handle random sleep times throughout the night?
All of that is to be determined I suppose. Though I know that the Lord will lead me, my wife will help direct me and all will be great.
I am confident I guess because I kind of have an ace in the hole.
That ace is my father, Don Thomas.
When Michelle and I married all I really knew to do for Robbie and Alyssa was just be as much like my Dad as I could be. I'm not their real father. I don't try to be. They don't need me to be. What they do need me to be and what I hope I am is a good husband to their mom, a good provider for them and a respectable Christian male influence in their lives.
My Dad was (still is thankfully) all that and more to me.
When God blesses Michelle and I with a fifth member of our family (sixth if you count Pacey), I'll strive to be those things for him/her as well.
And I'll try to be patient, kind and loving.
Because that is all I ever saw in my Dad.
I have so many memories about my father from my youth.
Many of them I didn't even understand back then.
Once when I was playing catch in the front yard, Dad threw me a high pop. I lost it in the sun (or maybe just missed it with my glove). I had a nice shiner to show for it at the Braves game the next night. No doubt it was my fault. Dad took the blame for a bad throw, though, so I wouldn't feel bad.
Sometimes when my brothers and I were younger we were maybe a little perplexed that Dad didn't buy us a bigger TV or get us a better lawnmower or whatever. Well you know what? He was planning all along. He saved some then so he could help us when we REALLY needed it ... like when we bought our first houses, when we got married or maybe when we needed a crib.
One thing I love is laughing with my Dad. I stayed home a lot at night in high school to watch "Dukes of Hazzard" or "Sherriff Lobo" or "Newhart" with my Dad and we would laugh together. I thought it was so unique that he and I loved the same shows.
Now I know the truth.
Dad probably didn't really love those shows. He might have rather been reading the paper or chilling out after a long day's work. But he loved me. So he watched without reservation.
Today, I strive to have that same role in my own family.
Maybe Alyssa will look back when she is an adult and remember me playing Family Feud with her on her IPod.
Maybe Robbie will remember our post-school snacks at Wings and the shoot-em-up movies we go to see together.
I know I do. And I cherish every moment.
I can't wait to experience more times with them like that and similar times with the new baby. And I can't wait till my Dad visits again so I can pop in another episode of the "Andy Griffith Show."
We'll laugh at Barney all over again at an episode we've seen 10 times.
But it wouldn't matter to me if we'd seen it 100.
I'll be thankful just for that time together.
So when the kids in our youth group pick at me, saying "You'll make a great Dad ... Just a really old one," ..... I'll laugh. It's funny. But I won't worry.
Maybe I am older than most Dads with a young child.
But that's OK. I've got an ace in the hole.
I'll just try and love like I have been loved.
Happy Father's Day Dad from one of three very blessed sons.
I love you
